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I don’t understand relationships. Of course I’ve had good times doing stuff with people, but I really do not understand the dynamics between people. Is it good or bad that I really haven’t had a “best friend”. Or maybe I have and didn’t realize it. Is friendship just mutual dependence or is it some sort of interdependence? I’ve seen and been part of enough friendships to know that it’s a beautiful thing but I just don’t know that many people pursue me for me. But do I do the same to them? Of course my family loves me, my friends enjoy me and my peers generally seem to respect me but what more is there? Who calls me a friend and whom do I call a friend?  I’ve moved/changed enough to know that people are organic beings and that a relationship in one time/place will be very different from it in another situation and why is that? Is this something that is meant to be understood and defined or must it just be lived?
I don’t know. And that’s hard.

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